What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

What is the significance of Pete Rose, the all-time hits leader in Major League Baseball, who just passed away?

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

“Intelligence Evolved Twice on Earth”: This Groundbreaking Discovery Redefines Life Itself and Shakes the Foundations of Evolutionary Science - Rude Baguette

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

After a few moments he returns.

What are some creepy bestiality-promoting questions obviously asked for sexual gratification?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Sure no problem officer.

{RING} {RING}

How do you complete “Ciao bell'uomo, come stai oggi, buongiorno signore, sono Jennifer Rose Louis, come ti chiami”?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

HELLO

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Are you more of a butt guy or a boob guy?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

Yes sir it is.